Getting through my ovarian cancer relapse

I was 17 and studying for an exam to get into medical school when I first felt a really uncomfortable pain in my right-hand side. I initially thought it was a muscle strain, but the pain became unbearable. I don’t normally like to complain, but I couldn’t handle it anymore, so I called emergency services. They recommended that I go to A&E. The doctors found that I had a large cyst which was twisted around my ovary, and I needed urgent surgery.

I was trying to revise for another medical exam and was going through my flashcards with my mum while I was in the hospital. Every time a doctor came in, I was hoping that they would tell me I could go home. Instead, I got an infection and I had to stay in hospital for a week. I had to wait for a couple of weeks for the results from the biopsy. The doctors called my parents to say that it was cancerous, and they wanted to remove my right ovary. I had the operation the day before my 18^th birthday and spent my birthday recovering. It wasn’t the 18^th birthday which I’d hoped for, but it was during lockdown so I would’ve been limited as to what I could’ve done anyway.

At the time I was so focused on my studies that I felt ok. I didn’t see having cancer as that big of a deal, I saw it as having to get through a couple of operations and then I could just move on. I was grateful that I didn’t need chemotherapy or radiotherapy. When things were less busy at the start of 2021, I started thinking about it all more and what I had been through dawned on me. My mental health took a dip and I had post-traumatic stress from the operations.

Having already been introduced to Lorraine - Teenage Cancer Trust’s adopted Teenage Young Adult Clinical Liaison Nurse for North Devon, Torbay and Exeter - I knew that I could turn to her. We started talking weekly over the phone. She was there to listen to my feelings and give me advice. She asked me questions which prompted me to think about things differently. As well as talking about the cancer, we also talked about everyday things like my family, and she gave me relationship advice. Instead of seeing me just purely as a patient, she looked at me as a whole. She got to know me and remembered the things which were important to me.

Lorraine also hugely supported me in referring me to grants, for example the YoungLivesvsCancer one, or the PIP and Universal Credit scheme, which I would’ve had no idea about otherwise. She filled out loads of forms which I just wouldn’t have had the energy to do whilst going through treatment. The financial support makes such a difference, especially because of the cost of travelling to appointments and not being able to get a job during treatment. 

After I finished my A-Levels, I felt I was ready to move on. Lorraine had helped me so much, but I felt like I was in the right place to say goodbye and get on with my life post cancer. I pretty much forgot about having cancer, bar the scars that I have as a reminder. But in August 2021 I became breathless and had a cough that wouldn’t go away. I convinced myself I had long Covid. It got to the point where I couldn’t walk up the stairs without stopping every few steps, which isn’t normal for a young person.

I started studying medicine in Edinburgh, but became so ill I had to spend a week in bed. I was transferred to A&E, where they asked me about my medical history. I rang my mum to say that I wasn’t sure what was happening, and I was scared. She got the first flight to Edinburgh.

Initially, they only told me that I had pulmonary embolisms, which I thought sounded really serious. The same night, they told me that I might have lymphoma. They didn’t say the word cancer, but I knew that’s what they meant. They also said my metastatic ovarian germ cell cancer might have come back.

I went into my biopsy the next day. When they told me it was the same cancer I was reassured. It may sound weird that I was grateful for that, but a second type of cancer less than a year later would have felt even more unlucky.

The cancer was really rare, and they had to ring a specialist. He was on holiday, but he answered their questions, and they started me on emergency chemo treatment. I wanted to carry on at medical school alongside my chemo, but there was no way I would be able to keep it up, so I had to drop out.

I had my last session on Christmas Eve 2021. My parents are Spanish, and we have family there and I really wanted to go there like we usually do, but we couldn’t. Then my mum found out that she had Covid, and I spent the week up to New Year’s Eve isolating in my bedroom. I didn’t think my Christmas could get worse than 2020, but I was wrong.

I had five rounds of even more intense chemo until February then started immunotherapy. I have that every three weeks and travelling down from Edinburgh disrupts my life a bit. Three weeks seems to come around really quickly.

I’m looking forward to getting my life back on track and have been able to start studying again. I do have PTSD and trauma from having to drop out and being ill, and I worry that it might happen again. It makes me feel nervous and anxious. I’m happy to be back though, so I’m trying to just focus on my excitement for the future.

I spoke to Lorraine before I went back to uni, and she was able to give me a bit of advice. She knows that I want to be able to do everything, so she told me not to set my expectations too high while I’m still on treatment. I needed to hear that from someone outside my family. I also spoke to her about having social anxiety and about how much to tell people about my cancer when I meet them. I don’t want to tell them too much about what I have been through as I don’t want my cancer to define me, and I don’t want to be judged. I talked this through with Lorraine.

I’m grateful to have had Lorraine’s support. Without Lorraine I think things would have been so much lonelier. I spent so much of my time in hospital with middle aged women. It was so isolating. Cancer wasn’t something I expected at my age and then suddenly it was a huge part of my life. Lorraine helped me realise that other people go through the same thing at my age, so I didn’t feel so alone. She has been a big part of my cancer experience.