I regret delaying my GP visit

Lessons I’ve learnt during my cancer experience.

My greatest takeaway from my time with cancer is to not put off seeking medical help. In hindsight, it seems obvious that I had symptoms of lymphoma well before I first went to my GP for my swollen lymph node. I disregarded all my symptoms and would try to rationalise them. I’d think, “Maybe it’s just anxiety, or depression, or I’m making it up.” As someone who’s been chronically ill their whole life, you get used to constant aches and pains or doctors telling you it’s nothing to worry about. 

Even when I woke up one morning during chemotherapy with a high temperature and being unable to swallow, I was reluctant to go to A&E. Turned out I had neutropenic sepsis, and my neutrophils (an important type of white blood cell) were non-existent. 

There’s also no shame in needing help. I wish I’d taken people to my first few appointments. I tried to be strong and do it myself, especially as my mum also has cancer, but I learnt quickly that I couldn’t do it alone. 

My boyfriend or my dad would come so that they’d hear the update first hand too, and they could ask questions that I wouldn’t think to ask or would forget. I’d also bring a notebook and pen so I could write down any questions beforehand and my doctors answers. During chemotherapy, I’d also keep a day-to-day side effect diary so that I could tell my nurses and consultants exactly what side effects I’d been experiencing. Having a written log really helped my memory. 

My symptoms 

Swollen Lymph Node:  I had one swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck just above my collarbone. It was hard, immovable, and painless, and it came up overnight. You can also get swollen lymph nodes in your armpit and groin, but I only had the one in my neck. 

Fatigue:  I struggle to recall a time I haven’t felt some level of fatigue. Prior to May 2022, I always kept busy and was constantly doing things around the house. That’s when my mum was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer and my life was turned upside down. I think it was around October 2022 I started feeling rather fatigued and I struggled keeping up with caring for my mum, running the house, and looking after myself. At the time, I put the fatigue down to changing jobs, the pressure of looking after my mum and my family - and even to the bad winter weather and lack of sun. But now I recognise fatigue is a symptom of lymphoma and it was probably around this time that my body started developing tumours. 

Itchy Skin:  For over a year before my diagnosis, I experienced incredibly itchy skin. My lower legs, feet and armpits would get so itchy, and I’d even break the skin when scratching my legs and feet, leaving me with little cuts and scabs. I remember one night around Christmas I thought ‘itchy skin is a symptom of lymphoma’. But I just didn’t want to believe my itchy skin could be lymphoma. Mum already had cancer - I couldn’t possibly either. 

Chest Pain:  I’ve always been a side sleeper. From around Christmas 2022, I noticed that it hurt to lie on my left side and every night I’d have to sleep on my right side. It felt like a really dull ache, and I’d say to my boyfriend, “It just feels like something’s there.” Of course, at the time I thought it was ridiculous for something to actually be there - but I now know it was a mediastinal tumour that would press against my heart and lungs. 

Pain When Drinking Alcohol:  Every time I’d drink alcohol, my body would ache. This mainly manifested itself as a headache and I’d make sure to drink a lot of water or take paracetamol on a night out. I was never a big drinker anyway, just enjoying a few cocktails with friends on a special occasion, but it got to the point I just didn’t enjoy it anymore. 

My GP visit and diagnosis story 

On the 4th April 2023, I was sat at my desk when I got off a tough work call. I sighed and rested my neck into my hand. When I did so, I noticed a hard, painless, immoveable lump in my neck approx. 3cm in size. I thought, “Oh. That wasn’t there yesterday.” 

I knew what it was as soon as I felt it; I just had a gut feeling. I went to the GP the next day who referred me for suspected cancer on the 2 Week Wait pathway. I was reassured that the chances were it was only an infection and would go away. I had an ultrasound and biopsy on the 2nd May and the doctor told me she was putting an urgent red flag on the report as she found more tumours too deep for me to feel externally. 

The official phone call came a week after at 11.47AM on the 9th May. I was sat on the sofa, home alone, answering work emails. The doctor said, “Your biopsy has come back showing lymphoma.” 

She rattled away next steps then stopped to ask me if I have any questions. I said, “Well, lymphoma’s a blood cancer, isn’t it?” And she said, “I’m afraid so.”

The next two months were a whirlwind of blood tests, scans, another biopsy, and fertility preservation. I started an intense chemotherapy regimen in July. 

I was adamant that I had no symptoms (other than my swollen lymph node) but it was only once my symptoms started disappearing that I actually linked them to being symptoms of my cancer. I knew they were symptoms, but my brain just couldn’t link them to my body and my cancer; I was very much in denial. 

Reflections and advice for young people with cancer

Now that I’m in remission and on a phased return to work, I’m starting to reflect on my time with cancer. I wish I’d seen my GP sooner and taken more offerings of support. If you’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer, please seek and accept help when it’s offered. Your medical team are there to help you and there are so many wonderful charities offering guidance and support. It’s also important to reach out and talk about your feelings rather than bottling it all up. Remember: you are not alone.