Living with cancer: 5 tips for staying upbeat

When I first relapsed, my attitude was often quite negative, telling people there was a chance I’d probably be dead by August, and that it wasn’t worth me fighting. If one transplant won’t work, then what chance do I have of a second one? I felt very panicked, I had lots of breakdowns and I kept apologising to my family for being a burden

1. Try and adopt a positive mindset  

My friend Lauren made me write a list of reasons why I wanted to live. I needed to use these reasons as my motivations and goals to keep fighting and to imagine myself on the other side once treatment was once again over. I wrote all of my plans down and whenever the going got tough, I reminded myself exactly what I was going through treatment for. It could be short- or long-term goals, anything from ‘eat Chinese food’ to ‘visit Edinburgh for my next birthday’ to ‘see my book get published’. 

2. Take your mind off it  

While I was waiting for a bed on the ward, I continued doing my paper round. I also walked an additional 45 minutes a day with my family. Even though the majority of my time was spent sleeping, I found it useful to clear my head. I decided that I’d continue with university throughout treatment, however much of a challenge it would be, just because I knew it would help me escape. 

3. Surround yourself with supportive family and friends  

It was no doubt a depressing time, but Lauren visited me as often as she could at my house while I waited for a hospital bed. She made me a box full of things to do while I was going to be in hospital, and we spent quality time together which brought back a spark of the ‘old me’.  

Dad also set up a Facebook group which we would use to update people on my progress, and members put posts up and sent good wishes to support me. It felt good having a community behind me and I felt I wasn’t alone, and I really started enjoying using my Facebook page and I treated it almost like a blog. A GoFundMe page was set up to help my family by one of our good friends who we met during my first time in hospital. 

4. Take advantage of the good days  

When you’re ill and know that you’re in for a terrible time, why not make the most of your freedom of being at home? Do what you enjoy doing, guilt-free, and relax. Why not treat yourself to give yourself something to look forward to? I have no idea how many Chinese takeaways or Dominos I ordered while sat at home waiting for a bed on the ward. It would’ve been a bad thing to do if I were healthy, but I kept doing things to boost my mood. 

5. If a relapse happens to you: know that you’ve done it before   

I started off as quite a feared patient amongst other parents, because their children were receiving their bone marrow transplants for the first time and couldn’t believe that I had relapsed after so long, and in fact, had actually relapsed after a transplant.  

But because I had the experience, I soon enjoyed telling stories to other patients and parents about my previous experiences, on topics from what having a Hickman line felt like, to what the hospital food was like.  

So if, like me, your cancer comes back and you have to go through another round of treatment, know that you’ve done it before and you can do it again. Let your past experiences guide you and others through.