I didn’t recognise myself during cancer – now I’m a Miss Teen GB finalist

I cut my hair short in anticipation 

One of my first thoughts after being diagnosed was whether I was going to lose my hair. I had really long curly hair almost down to my knees. I had it cut to shoulder length to start with so the change wouldn’t be so dramatic. 

I didn’t lose all my hair, but it went really thin, and I kept it in a ponytail. I was given a wig, and I wore that all of the time, even for chemo.  

When it started to grow back, it came back much darker and curly. I didn’t mind that, but I struggled to style it when it was really short. I started to wear it in little buns. 

I hadn’t told people at school why I was off, but the news soon got around. I had a couple of friends who still came to see me and one said that some boys said mean things about my appearance on a group chat that I found out about. After that I decided to go back to being home schooled. 

I got hair extensions before I went back to school, and that made me feel more confident to go back. Now my hair is down past my shoulders and much darker than it was, but I like it. 

I didn’t lose all of my eyebrows so I pencilled in the rest. Because I’d still got most of my lashes, I could still stick false lashes on, and I was sent some lashes that you could put on if you didn’t have any lashes. 

I was so worn out that I couldn’t do much during treatment, so I spent time doing my makeup and making TikToks. It helped pass the time but also made me feel better to have makeup on. When I was feeling OK, I did my makeup in hospital. I also did my nails and that made me feel better. My nails weren’t really affected too much by the chemo, but my lips got dry, and I needed to use a lot of lip balm. 

I didn’t recognise myself in the mirror 

I struggled to eat during treatment and had to have a feeding tube. I was given shakes to get my nutrition, but I struggled to stomach them. Within a couple of weeks, I’d lost a lot of weight and was down to four stone. My clothes hung off me. 

I was so weak that I had to use a wheelchair, and I didn’t like that. I tried to walk where I could but then I’d be really worn out afterwards.

Because I’d lost so much weight and lost some of my hair, I struggled to look in the mirror without thinking: ‘Who is this person?’ I didn’t recognise myself. 

When I needed steroids with my treatment, I put on too much weight. I didn’t like that either, so worked to lose the weight. I feel comfortable again now. 

I started back at school and started to go out again more. My confidence continued to grow. Cancer helped me realise that small things that I used to worry about weren’t that deep and not a big deal. 

It also made me grateful for things like being able to eat and drink properly, or smaller things like being able to go to the shops, or have a shower or bath. I struggled to do that during treatment due to the risk of getting an infection with my Hickman line. 

I was lucky I was treated with people my age 

I was taken to the Teenage Cancer Trust unit at the hospital the day I was diagnosed. I’d only just turned 13 so I was lucky that I was on the unit, rather than in with the young kids and babies, if you can be ‘lucky’ after being diagnosed with cancer. 

But I think I would’ve found it harder seeing babies who were poorly and hearing kids crying all the time. Instead, I was around people my age. I had my chemo in the chill out room on the unit. It was nice and relaxed, so it was a better setting to have it. 

The Teenage Cancer Trust Youth Support Coordinators were lovely. They got me involved in activities on the unit like pumpkin making and apple bobbing, and we made paper chains for Christmas. There were a lot of arts and crafts to keep us busy.  

During treatment, I was too ill to go to the events outside hospital which the Youth Support Coordinators organised. But once I felt better, I went for meals, pizza making, pantos and dessert shops. 

I made some really good friends who I still speak to now. My best friend Amy was with me during treatment a lot, so she understood a lot of what I was going through – but making friends who had cancer helped too as we’d been through similar things and we had so much to talk about. 

The future can still be bright and beautiful 

I don’t want cancer to derail my dreams, so when I was starting to feel better again, I began performing arts, doing dance again and I started to pursue modelling again. 

My aunt won Miss England when she was younger, and she encouraged me to apply for Miss Teen Great Britain. I had to fill in a form and send some photos through. 

I’ve made it through to the finals of Miss Teen Great Britain. The platform will allow me to inspire other girls to chase their dreams no matter what obstacles stand in their way. 

I want to help raise awareness of childhood and teenage cancers while encouraging young people to believe in themselves. I want them to know they’re not alone, and that their future can still be bright and beautiful.